BRAD ALDOUS: Daily Brad

1) Fox said in a statement Monday that the age eligibility to audition for the upcoming 10th season of American Idol would be lowered from 16 to 15 years old. Executive producer Cecile Frot-Coutaz said in a statement, "there are a lot of young, talented people we just haven't been able to exploit."

2) Miley Cyrus is comfortable with her body. It's just that America isn't. Also, she has a weird nose.

3) Toy Story 3 scored big at the box office this week, raking in just short of a Bajillion dollars, proving once again that there is money to be made from movies conceived while under the influence of marijuana.

4) A group of seventh-graders in California has discovered a mysterious cave on Mars, proving once again that if you want something done right, you have to delegate it to pre-pubescent gamers.

5) Amanda Bynes has retired from acting. Up next for her? A hip hop documentary directed by Casey Affleck.

6) The vuvuzela has officially become more annoying than people whistling.

7) And finally, Vanessa Carlton came out this week as a bi-sexual, following Anna Paquin in a move that only works for women.

Here is the deal, soccer fans. I love soccer. I played since I was 5 years old, and have grand memories of eating oranges at half time, scoring goals, making saves, and starting bench clearing brawls (we were kind of a rough team)....

But when we are trying to get more americans interested, a TIE is just not gonna cut it. Joe American public likes things clear. Winners and Losers. Ties - in the immortal words of an old friend who shall remain nameless, "were invented by a mamby pamby mama's boy who couldn't win."

Also, for the record, would it hurt you to have cheerleaders?

I'm just sayin.

Sarah Palin is in the news again - this time for running off at the mouth once again regarding something which she has absolutely no experience with, Nuclear weapons. But has that every stopped her before (see EVERYTHING)? Nope! Miss Palin, who couldn't hold down the governorship, or parenting, has now decided to use her Fox News pulpit to make really bad analogies that don't make any sense and insult even the most feeble minded citizens.

"No administration in America's history would, I think, ever have considered such a step that we just found out President Obama is supporting today," she proclaimed. "It's kind of like getting out there on a playground, a bunch of kids, getting ready to fight, and one of the kids saying, 'Go ahead, punch me in the face, and I'm not going to retaliate. Go ahead and do what you want to with me.

I don't even know where to start. First off - it's just a bad analogy. Is America the one asking to be punched in the face? Cause it seems to me that since we have enough weapons to blow up the earth 50 times over, we're actually the biggest kid on the playground. Here's a better analogy. It's kind of like getting out there on the campaign circuit, a bunch of politicians ready to debate, and one of them who wears glasses and used to be a soccer mom saying, "I'm less intelligent, less experienced, yet because I sound "folksy" and all of the NRA want to DO me, I'm important!"

I think that Miss Palin should stick to TV - after all, she fits perfectly between Judge Judy and Tyra Banks. (apologies to Judge Judy and Tyra Banks, both of whom I would endorse for president before Sarah Palin).

Are all celebrity wranglers and publicists required to be brunette, dumpy and resemble Kathy Bates? THis is my first thought watching the Red Carpet pre show on E! I actually don't mind "The Seacrest" - but Jay Manuel and Giuliana Rancic? Really?
Jay is "famous" from America's Next Top Model. Not sure how any 37 year old wearing a paisley tux and silver hair is qualified to discuss any one else's fashion sense, but what do i know? and Giuliana Rancic - or as I call her - Skin skeleton, was so disturbing to look at with her 12 year old girl frame and size DDDD implants - i finally just changed the channel and watched the Puppy Bowl. (i wish)....

The ceremony itself was long - but Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were hilarious. I do think it was a little inappropriate for ABC to let all of those epileptics run around the stage for 7 minutes...what? That was a dance troupe? C'mon! Seriously? ok.......... other highlights....

THe Hurt Locker is full of awards.

Taylor Lautner even got out of his shift at Burger King to attend the ceremonies. Oh wait - that's just where he should be.

Miley Cyrus needs a posture coach. And a sandwich.

Helen Mirren is hot.

James Taylor was as usual amazing.

The John Hughes tribute was sweet - except for Judd "I just climbed off a train from Mexico" Nelson. Eesh.

The costume designer who lamented that she "already had 2 of these" - Honey? Get some manners. That's like opening a birthday present from your great aunt and saying - "oh - i already have 2 of these.....but thanks anyway?"

And finally - loved the Kanye moment over the Documentary short. Wouldn't it have been great if they had wrestled???

Until next year - I'll see you at the movies!

New York CIty (Reuters) - An actor/comedian in NYC on Tuesday sued the makers of Oscar-nominated film "Avatar" five days before the Academy Awards, claiming the central character in the film is based on him.

Brad Aldous believes screenwriter James Cameron based "virtually all of the situations" in the film Avatar on events involving him and claims he coined the phrase "I see you." according to a statement from lawyer Moishe Tannenbaum in Brooklyn, who is representing Aldous.

A news conference is planned for Wednesday at Tannenbaum's offices, at which time more details are expected on what Aldouses lawyers said was a "Toruk sized suit."

The film's distributor issued its own statement on Tuesday reiterating the movie's claim that it is a "fictional account" about a fictional people on a fictional planet.

Cameron hung out in NYC and smoked alot of kind bud with a lot of people, and Aldous claims that since he is occasionally 12 feet tall and blue, several times waited on Sigourney Weaver, and has a bonsai tree called, The Tree of Souls - "that you can do the math."

http://movies.yahoo.com/news/movies.reuters.com/hurt-locker-producers-sued-days-before-oscars-reuters

1) According to a Gallup poll, Apollo Anton Ohno has officially overtaken Billy Ray Cyrus as the most famous person with bad taste in facial hair.

2) Snowboarder Scotty Lago was chastised this week for photos taken of him and a woman where it looked as if she was sucking on his medal. In other news, the curling team was all in bed by 9:30.

3) Ski Jumping fans were outraged today when it was discovered that gold medal winner Simon Ammann is actually Daniel Radcliffe and his "Skis" were actually 2 cleverly disguised Nimbus 2000's.

4) In Ice Dancing news..... just kidding. If Tanith Belbin weren't involved, it would have been discontinued years ago.

5) Michael Phelps showed up at the Olympics, wearing all of his medals and look on his face that said, "Is there a pool around here? And by pool, I mean a hot tub full of honeys and some fine canadian weeeeed."

6) And finally - Bode Miller won gold today, showing once again that people can do amazing things, even when they have a dog name.

1) Russia is considering sending a spacecraft to a large asteroid to knock it off its path and prevent a possible collision with Earth, the head of the country's space agency said Wednesday. Sources say the agency head is waiting for president Morgan Freeman for the final go ahead before he sends Bruce Willis and his crew on their way...

2) Lil Wayne returned to his hometown of New Orleans for a performance before he heads to jail later today to serve a year on weapons charges. If only he's used his Lil Brain.

3) Finally, General Motors is recalling some 22,000 Chevrolet Corvettes, wrecking the holidays for everyone in the middle of their mid life crisis.

1) Scientists have discovered a rare new bird species with a bald head in Laos. Not surprisingly, the new species drives a porsche.

2) Police in Utah say a 7-year-old boy led officers on a car chase in an effort to avoid going to church. When asked for comment his father stated, "Wish I would have thought of that..."

3) The Twilight series has made a huge casting switch, replacing actress... oh wait - no 12 year old girls read this and who the f**k cares?

1) The 250 million dollar system which converts urine to drinkable water aboard the International Space Station is still on the fritz.
One astronaut commented, “I’m just incredibly bummed I won’t be able to drink my own urine.”

2) Scientists are saying that for around 10 million dollars, they could perhaps regenerate a living wooly mammoth. Further, they
stated that for about the same price they could perhaps regenerate a living Larry King.

3) NASA released a photo of Fomalhaut B, the first-ever image of a planet outside our solar system, this week.
But already charges have been filed in a Los Angeles County Court alleging that Formalhaut beat up the Hubble Telescope outside the Sky Bar.

4) Ashlee Simpson and rocker husband Pete Wentz welcomed a baby boy yesterday, son Bronx Mowgli Wentz. The proud parents brag that the newborn is already making crappy music.

1) Charlize Theron was appointed a United Nations messenger of peace this week. Word on the street is that she speaks softly and carries a big plowshare. Which she uses to kick your pansy ass.

2) Kanye West announced today that he "will go down as the voice of this generation.." When reached for comment, about half of this generation responded, "Kanye who?"

3) White tigers in Singapore mauled a 32 year old zoo cleaner to death today. In their defense, he was crazy delicious.

4) NASA released a photo of Fomalhaut B, the first-ever image of a planet outside our solar system, today. But already charges have been filed in a Los Angeles Court alleging that Formalhaut roughed up the Hubble Telescope outside of Sky Bar.

5) The mounting public anger over the phone prank played by celebrities Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross during Brand's BBC Radio 2 show claimed its first exec scalp on Thursday when station controller Lesley Douglas resigned. Apparently in Great Britain, people still listen to the radio.

1) Mr. Blackwell, whose annual "worst dressed" list dinged movie stars, music icons and European royalty died last week at the age of 86. He quickly contacted his family through a psychic, calling his coffin, "Dowdy, uninspired, and boxy."

2) Using a complex genetic approach, U.S. and Chinese researchers believe they have erased undesirable memories from the brains of select mice.
Most of the undesirable memories, strangely, concerned men in white lab coats hooking electrodes to their brains.

3) The oldest-known tracks of a creature apparently using legs have been discovered in rock dated to 570 million years ago in what was once a shallow sea in Nevada. When informed of this Gov. Sarah Palin responded, " Yeah. Next your gonna tell me that men walked on the moon!"

4) Polar bears are dying out in the remote Arctic region of Chukotka because of melting ice and increased killing by humans, an expert with the International Fund for Animal Welfare warned on Friday. Sarah Palin called the expert's comments, "Assinine, " and stating, " Melting ice? How does melting ice hurt a bear?? I'll tell you what hurts a bear. Barack Obama."

1) Narcissists like to be in charge, so it stands to reason that a new independent study shows individuals who are overconfident about their abilities are most likely to step in as leaders, be they politicians or power brokers. Senator John McCain responded, " I could do a way way better study than that."

2) A 990-pound bedridden man who had appealed on Mexican television for help tackling his weight problem died Tuesday of heart failure, his family said. A classic example of too little, too fat.

3) Nick Nolte escaped a fire that caused an estimated $1.5 million damage to his Malibu home on Tuesday. The fire is said to have started by small animals living in Nolte's beard.

4) The actor who played muscular "Mr. Clean" in hundreds of commercials in the 50's and 60's died in Los Angeles today at the age of 92. Ironically he died hopped up on heroin in a pile of trash, covered in his own feces.

5) And finally, a German farmer who received the world's first complete double arm transplant is recovering well and able to perform some basic tasks, though doctors said Wednesday it still could take up to two years before he relearns the Macarena.

1) NEW YORK - Sarah Palin met her first world leaders Tuesday. Afghan President Hamid Karzai said she was "very nice", though it became awkward when she demanded they pose for photos "for her myspace page?" and insisting he autograph her cleavage.

2) Later in the day Palin met with Colombian President Alvaro Uribe, and then declared that she had met enough foreigners, "to get the idea..... (wink wink)."

3) To counter accusations that she should have more travel experience besides her brief stops in Kuwait and Germany to visit Alaskan troops, Gov.Palin plans to "travel abroad soon" and then clarified "hopefully to Africa to shoot endangered things!"

4) Lindsay Lohan has confirmed what the world has guessed: She's been dating Samantha Ronson "a very long time." And now we can say what we have been thinking for "a very long time". AWEEEEEEESOME!

3) And finally, Clay Aiken is finally confirming what many people already knew: He's gay. Hold the phone. Many people? Seriously? Did anyone in the universe ever wonder about this? I mean I'm sorry, but the sweet kid is gayer than matching your curtains to your sectional couch. And they're both leopard patterned crushed velvet. Be strong Clay. You're here. You're queer. We're used to it.

1) The "International Brotherhood of the Moose" has come out in support of Barack Obama this week. Said a spokesman, "because he doesn't shoot at us."

2) Sweden's own version of the Loch Ness monster, the Storsjoe monster, has allegedly been caught on film by surveillance videos, according to Gunnar Nilsson, the head of a shopkeepers' association in Svenstavik, who installed the cameras.

"On Thursday at 12:21 pm, we filmed the movements of a live being. And it was not a pike, nor a perch, we're sure of that," said the shopkeeper.

Who is totally qualified to judge being that he is a ..... well....
shopkeeper.

3) Warner Bros., which owns the rights to the Harry Potter movies, is suing an Indian production company whose new film is called "Hari Puttar: A Comedy of Terrors."

"All I can say is that the title is not at all similar to Harry Potter and nor is our story line," said Mirchi COO, Munish Purii. He continued, "This is as ridiculous as when they sued us over "Indiona Juunz and the Temple of Gloom."

1) Thirteen people were taken to hospital, one of them seriously injured, on the first day of the annual bull running festival in the northern Spanish town of Pamplona on Monday. THe second day promises more goring, and at least one bull grinning ear to ear.

2) The dollar has strengthened this week against some Asian currencies, notably the Vietnamese dong. No punchline, I'm giggling too hard to type.

1) Dylan McDermott has filed for divorce from wife Shiva Rose after more than 12 years of marriage. Apparently, the problems stemmed from the fact that all along she thought he was Dermut Mulroney.

2) I don't know if anyone else if following the R Kelly trial, but I, for one, believe he will fry.

3) German mail company Deutsche Post has inadvertently issued stamps bearing the image of Adolf Hitler's former deputy, Rudolf Hess, the company said on Wednesday. Next, said a spokesman, they will indadvertantly invade Poland.

1) NYC college student Maria Markova filed a lawsuit Monday that Lindsay Lohan took her $12,000 golden sheared mink coat while in the nightclub 1 Oak on January 26. In a related story, Wilmer Valderrama still has my Members Only jacket.

2) A barrel of oil now costs 132 dollars, or 3 euros.

3) President Bush announced Wednesday that Americans soon will be allowed to send cellphones to Cubans. Thus ensuring that the Cuban people will have the same freedom to have their movies interrupted by an "In Da Club" ringtone.

4) Security was tight as usual at Milan's San Vittore prison on Wednesday, where female inmates, launching their own womenswear line, showcased their new collection in the jail's courtyard. Apparently orange jumpsuits are the new black and white striped jumpsuits.

5) 27-year-old very pregnant actress Jessica Alba quietly wed producer Cash Warren on Monday. Asked how the wedding was, a source declared, "Well, uh, shotgun?"

1) Miley Cyrus AKA "Hannah Montana" has signed a seven-figure book deal with Disney Book Group. Apparently enquiring minds have been demanding the wealth of knowledge she has acquired now that she's FIFTEEN. Chapters will include, Dad's Rat Tail, Private School, Being Spoiled, and hypnotizing tweens....

1) Two women kissing in an advertisement led Singapore to fine a cable operator this week for breaching guidelines on sexuality in the conservative city-state. And here in the US, the self same advertisement led me to watch it 27 times.

1) Gary Gygax, who co-created the fantasy game Dungeons & Dragons died Tuesday morning at his home in Lake Geneva. He had been suffering from health problems for several years, but finally succumbed when he rolled a 9 and was eaten by a Gelatinous Cube.

2) Actress Bai Ling says she made an "innocent mistake" when she allegedly took a pack of batteries and two tabloid magazines at Los Angeles International Airport without paying for them. She added, "Don't celebrities get everything for free? I thought we did..." To which the store attendant replied, "Who ARE you? Wait, Didn't you used to be on the View? No, she was prettier...."

3) Rolling Stones guitarist and rock-and-roll bad boy Keith Richards is to become the new face of Louis Vuitton, the French luxury fashion house said Tuesday. Apparently the final two choices were Richards and a corpse, and Richards booked the gig by looking slightly more like death.

4) And finally, A NASA spacecraft has taken the first-ever image of an avalanche near Mars' north pole. A spokesman for Tom Cruise said that unlike everyone else on the planet, Tom knows he has to do something about it, because he's the only one who can really help.

1) Naomi Campbell was admitted to the hospital in Brazil this week. Her publicist announced "Following the successful procedure, she is now resting and is looking forward to getting back to hurling things at her assistants and bludgeoning her maids with cel phones."

2) Steve-O of "Jackass" fame was arrested for suspicion of vandalism and possession of a controlled substance at his Hollywood home today. And just when he was about to publish his new research on how climate change affects the world economy and international relations. Dangit.

3) Kid Rock has pleaded not guilty to a charge of battery from a fight at a Waffle House in Atlanta. Once again the old adage proves true: You can take Kid Rock out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the Waffle House.

1) According to a new study, disappearing bee colonies could drive up ice cream prices. In a related story, disappearing ant colonies could drive up the price of imaginary logic.

2) George Bush Senior endorsed John McCain today, and then promtply threw up into the lap of the Prime Minister of Japan.

3) There is much in the news about the power that the "Super Delegates" will yield in the upcoming election. I see no problems with that, as long as it doesn't take away from the time they spend fighting crime.

4) Finally, seven people died this week from Paraguay's first outbreak of yellow fever in 34 years. Here in New York, my friend Spence has yellow fever, but his girlfriend Miyuki says he's totally fine.

1) Italian scientists say they have proved Napoleon was not poisoned, upending the theory the French emperor was murdered by his British jailors. In a related story, Italian scientists have made no progress on studies of Cancer, AIDS, global warming, or Prioritizing studies.

2) Steven Spielberg is ending his involvement as an artistic adviser for the Beijing Olympics. Apparently, the Chinese didn't like his proposed Opening Ceremony: a gory, entrail filled, live 30 minute beach attack.

3) President Bush said Tuesday that recent displays of nooses are disturbing and insensitive. He added, "Especially to those us who are still working on tie-ing our shoes..."

4) Dolly Parton, 62, said on Monday she would postpone her upcoming North American tour after doctors told her to take it easy for six to eight weeks to rest her sore back. She blames her back problems on what she called, "the puppies." Here at the Daily Brad, we bet "the puppies" are incredibly happy if they get to be anywhere near her massive breasts.

5) Facebook has been renamed this week, switching to a more accurate name, StalkyourFriends.

1) The king of sexually explicit voice mails, E!'s Pat O'Brien checked into rehab today. Though here at the Daily Brad, we are pretty sure it was just to get near enough to harass Kirsten Dunst.

2) Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee will not quit the race, according to supporters. In related news, I do not heart Huckabee. In fact, I think he is a jackass. Also, Huckabee is a silly name.

3) And finally, Valentines Day is just a few days away. Or as I call it, "Hallmark is a genius day".

1) Campaigning for Mike Huckabee, actor Chuck Norris said Sunday that Sen. John McCain is too old to handle the pressures of being president. Because we here in America love to take our political advice from the man who starred in "Top Dog" with a canine named Reno. Who outacted him....

2) Democrat Dennis Kucinich announced Thursday that he is dropping out of the presidential race. No specific reason was given, but we suspect it was to spend more with his super hot half his age wife. Dennis, we salute you.

3) When asked this week how long he will stay in the race for President, Rudolph Guliani replied, "You know, I feel like I have been asked that question 911 times."

4) Pakistan's President Pervez Musharraf lashed out Thursday at what he called Western "intellectual arrogance" toward his country, saying "... we are not such clueless people who do not know how to run a country, we have our own brains. Or brainses. Or is it brainsi? Oh, hurry up and give us $10 billion dollars."