BRAD ALDOUS: Home

I'd like to share some words form the wise W.H. Auden. "The only way to spend NYE is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears."

One of my friends calls NYE in NYC, "Amateur Hour" - truckloads of tourists, bridge and tunnel revelers and kids all looking to have the "perfect" evening, but more often than not, ending up vomiting on their fake bag on the curb on 14th street.

So on this evening of noisemakers and silly glasses and champagne and counting, just remember: drink lots of water and take a few Advil when you get home. And now - NYE traditions from around the world!

Spain - They eat 12 grapes at midnight. (it's all they can physically eat after the copious amounts of Rioja they have consumed)

Japan - At midnight on Dec. 31, Buddhist temples strike their gongs 108 times, in a effort to expel 108 types of human weakness. (you don't try this one in NYC unless you want your neighbors to seriously hate you)

The Netherlands - The Dutch burn bonfires of Christmas trees on the street and launch fireworks. The fires are meant to purge the old and welcome the new. (again - probably not great to do in a studio apartment)

Greece - A silver or gold coin is baked inside a cake. Whoever finds the coin in their piece of cake will be especially lucky during the coming year. (especially if you define lucky as making an emergency dental appointment)

Sri Lanka - People begin the New Year by taking a ceremonial bath on the last day of the old year. ( I actually do this every day?)

To you and yours, I hope you have a lovely New Year!

And if you are watching "Unforgettable" on CBS on January 10th, I may be appearing as an "Alumni" at a frat party.

b

Greetings and Salutations.

As we head into this lovely time of year where grown adults fight over plastic toys, people overcompensate for their shortcomings as human beings by buying loved ones extravagant gifts, and others hang weeds above their doors in an attempt to trick people into lip lock, I'd like to remind everyone, everywhere, that when they say it's the "season of giving": they're definitely not talking about STD's. Also, take a little advice from my family. You undoubtedly don't need anymore crap - so stick to these simple rules for gifts: Don't give it unless the recipient can eat it, drink it, or burn it. And remember: french hens, turtle doves and partridges are all delicious in an orange demi glaze. Merry Happy!!

Every august I walk outside, and before I even reach the end of my block, I'm painfully aware that I have already produced several gallons of sweat. The other day I was aware for the first time ever that eyelids can perspire. And don't even get me started on elbow sweat. That being said, if I had to choose between drenching three t-shirts a day and NYC in February when its grey for a month and so cold that you can feel the frostbite setting in on your nether regions: I'll take August any. damn. day.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of auditioning to be the voice of a television channel that makes the lion's share of their money off 4 foul mouthed cartoons from Colorado and a news show that most of my friends follow and trust more than CNN. Strange that, but true. It's always nice to audition for something that you actually respect. As one of the smartest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, Chuck Jones, once said: "No one in the history of man and woman has ever died of laughter."

This weekend I am directing a music video in Williamsburg. It's for a mad talented hip hop artist and rapper named Pete Miser. And when I say I am chomping at the bit for our shoot, I am not fibbing. This guy has more talent in one finger than about half of the music scene out there, and pretty soon, everyone will know that. I'm just happy to get to play with people of this caliber.

Have a fantastic weekend, stay cool, and check out www.petemiser.com