BRAD ALDOUS: Home

1) Fox said in a statement Monday that the age eligibility to audition for the upcoming 10th season of American Idol would be lowered from 16 to 15 years old. Executive producer Cecile Frot-Coutaz said in a statement, "there are a lot of young, talented people we just haven't been able to exploit."

2) Miley Cyrus is comfortable with her body. It's just that America isn't. Also, she has a weird nose.

3) Toy Story 3 scored big at the box office this week, raking in just short of a Bajillion dollars, proving once again that there is money to be made from movies conceived while under the influence of marijuana.

4) A group of seventh-graders in California has discovered a mysterious cave on Mars, proving once again that if you want something done right, you have to delegate it to pre-pubescent gamers.

5) Amanda Bynes has retired from acting. Up next for her? A hip hop documentary directed by Casey Affleck.

6) The vuvuzela has officially become more annoying than people whistling.

7) And finally, Vanessa Carlton came out this week as a bi-sexual, following Anna Paquin in a move that only works for women.

Here is the deal, soccer fans. I love soccer. I played since I was 5 years old, and have grand memories of eating oranges at half time, scoring goals, making saves, and starting bench clearing brawls (we were kind of a rough team)....

But when we are trying to get more americans interested, a TIE is just not gonna cut it. Joe American public likes things clear. Winners and Losers. Ties - in the immortal words of an old friend who shall remain nameless, "were invented by a mamby pamby mama's boy who couldn't win."

Also, for the record, would it hurt you to have cheerleaders?

I'm just sayin.

Sarah Palin is in the news again - this time for running off at the mouth once again regarding something which she has absolutely no experience with, Nuclear weapons. But has that every stopped her before (see EVERYTHING)? Nope! Miss Palin, who couldn't hold down the governorship, or parenting, has now decided to use her Fox News pulpit to make really bad analogies that don't make any sense and insult even the most feeble minded citizens.

"No administration in America's history would, I think, ever have considered such a step that we just found out President Obama is supporting today," she proclaimed. "It's kind of like getting out there on a playground, a bunch of kids, getting ready to fight, and one of the kids saying, 'Go ahead, punch me in the face, and I'm not going to retaliate. Go ahead and do what you want to with me.

I don't even know where to start. First off - it's just a bad analogy. Is America the one asking to be punched in the face? Cause it seems to me that since we have enough weapons to blow up the earth 50 times over, we're actually the biggest kid on the playground. Here's a better analogy. It's kind of like getting out there on the campaign circuit, a bunch of politicians ready to debate, and one of them who wears glasses and used to be a soccer mom saying, "I'm less intelligent, less experienced, yet because I sound "folksy" and all of the NRA want to DO me, I'm important!"

I think that Miss Palin should stick to TV - after all, she fits perfectly between Judge Judy and Tyra Banks. (apologies to Judge Judy and Tyra Banks, both of whom I would endorse for president before Sarah Palin).